The Five Love Languages

In reflecting back on Valentine’s Day, I think it’s important to dig a bit deeper and see what we can do to make the entire year as loving as February 14th tends to be. Valentine’s Day has become quite commercialized in America, I doubt anyone would argue that.  Under all the glitter and greeting cards there is actually thread of kindness and love rarely seen as prevalently as on that day.  I see this between spouses, in dating relationships, between parents and children…even in the workplace.  It’s almost as if people use the holiday as a reminder that they can and SHOULD be nice to one another periodically. 

Gary Chapman is the author of The Five Love Languages and is a relationship counselor.  The Five Love Languages is a guidebook for how to rekindle that appreciation and love you have for those in your life and express it to them in a way that will be picked up on their radar.  He has concluded that there are five “languages” that people like to receive love: words, acts, gifts, time, and touch. The problem he seeks to address is that in our relationships, we often express love in the manner we would like to receive it…without realizing that this may not be the language of the receiver. If you are a parent, child, spouse, significant other, boss, and/or employee, I would strongly urge you to read this book or it’s appropriate adaptation and challenge yourself to speak the love language of the receiver! Give it a try…see what changes take place in your life…


It’s about what you see…

This is one of my favorite quotes by far.  It speaks volumes to me about acceptance and the need for understanding in this world.  I have a bit of admiration for Thoreau as he was a non-conformist back when being a hipster was NOT cool! He was pre-dialectical before Dialectical Behavioral Therapy was cool! Thoreau was an advocate for finding the middle ground…specifically between nature and culture. He was an avid hiker and a political writer.

As the quote itself goes, I feel that it encompasses a problem I see often in private practice: the struggle that young people have with trekking outside the box. In short, this quote is about seeing past what society labels as desirable or undesirable and being willing to form your own opinions.


Inspiration within the Super Bowl?

I must admit, I’m not much of a sports fan…but Google’s Trending Topics brought this story to my attention ( The Blind Side movie portrayed Michael Oher as a slow-witted young man who really had no knowledge of football until the Tuohy family took him in and molded him into the football player he currently is with the Baltimore Ravens. Apparently, Oher would like the world to know that this may have had more to do with the cinematics of Hollywood than the actual truth.  Oher is using this Superbowl to show the world that there is more to him than meets the eye. 

I’d be willing to bet that at one time or another we have all wanted to challenge other’s perceptions of ourselves. The difference between the average person and Michael Oher is that we all don’t get the opportunity to utilize national television in our efforts! We certainly can gain inspiration from Oher though, inspiration that despite what other’s have been told or may think about us, we can always strive to show our true character with our actions. Day to day, you can also live with integrity, use your actions to be the person you want to be…not the person others may think you are. Challenge their perceptions.