Month: January 2015

It’s been quite a while since I wrote a recommended reading blog! I am going to dig into the depths of my mind (and my bookshelves) to provide you with a more current list of mental health books that I suggest.

1. Calming Your Anxious Mind: How Mindfulness and Compassion Can Free You from Anxiety, Fear, and Panic by Jeffrey Brantley – If you or someone you love struggles with anxiety, this book is an excellent read. It does not proscribe medication; rather suggests regular, daily and holistic changes you can make in both thinking patterns and behaviors.   I do recommend this book to loved ones as it explains anxiety in a beautiful way.
2. Overcoming Depression One Step at a Time: A New Behavioral Activation Approach to Getting Your Life Back by Michael Addis and Christopher Martell PhD – This is both a book and workbook focusing on what behavioral changes you can make that will help pull you out of depression, stay out of depression, and keep it from returning (or staying as long when it does return).  A very practical guide
3. Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy for Depression by Zindel V. Sega and J. Mark G. Williams – What a gift this book is! If you’ve wondered about this whole mindfulness craze and why you should give it a try…this book answers all questions and beyond!
4. I Love You Rituals by Becky Bailey – A great book for parents of any aged child. Helps you to understand healthy development and attachment, what actions you can take to optimize your relationship with your child and their self esteem.
5. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff by Richard Carlson – What a great reminder on a daily basis to step back and stop catastrophizing!
6. God Found Us You by Lisa Tawn Bergren – A heartwarming children’s book for kids who are adopted.
7. The ADHD Book of Lists: A Practical Guide for Helping Children and Teens with Attention Deficit Disorders by Sandra F. Rief – Pretty self explanatory but this author thought of EVERYTHING! A great resource for those who tend to make “careless” mistakes or are “forgetful”.  Also helps others understand just how hard it is to have ADHD.

Ok, there you have it: 7 suggested reads that should keep you busy for a few months!

Many of my clients have lived with chronic invalidation of their experiences.  Afterall, there is no “test” for depression or anxiety.  We can’t do blood work to confirm stage two depression or take an x-ray or MRI to confirm anxiety of the brain. We have to rely on self report by clients about the symptoms they are having, their intensity and duration.  This is difficult for “outsiders” to understand as most conditions require objective testing to confirm their existence prior to treatment.

So what can we do?  If you are the one with the mental health condition, practice being very descriptive of your symptoms so that they are easier to understand, record and measure.  For example: “I have had more difficulty getting out of bed since Tuesday.  I typically turn on my radio and get up after 2 songs; now it takes on average an hour.  During that hour I am trying to convince myself to get up, it seems that my body is heavier and my energy is lower.  As a result I have been skipping my showers and I am not wearing makeup.” This description allows you and your providers to measure progress or decompensation more clearly than “I can’t get up in the morning”.  Our example allows us to measure by how many songs it takes to get up, whether you get a shower and whether you put on your makeup.

What can you do as a family member or friend?  Believe the person! For the most part, I sincerely believe that people are telling the truth about their symptoms.  When in an acute episode, cognitive distortions are common and may cause you to think the person is exaggerating, lying, or being manipulative; however it is their PERCEPTION of the symptoms that is important.  They do not need to prove anything to you.  Just listen and validate.  Only offer problem solving if they ask for it.  Throwing out random solutions or overgeneralized/oversimplified solutions is typically perceived as invalidating and unhelpful.  For example: “just get out of bed, you’ll feel better”.  Now while this may be true, and your friend likely knows that, just getting out of bed isn’t always as easy as it seems.  Saying “I can see you are feeling low energy today.  Let me know if I can do anything to help” is much more understanding and patient, allowing the person to talk to you rather than get defensive.

What is Mindfulness?

Mindfulness is not only a hot topic in our culture today; it is a fantastic tool that anyone can utilize to gain immeasurable benefits.  Many people equate mindfulness to meditation.  This is accurate and inaccurate at the same time.  Mindfulness is a large umbrella concept, meditation does fall under the umbrella; however so do many other techniques.  Mindfulness is merely choosing to focus all of your attention on one thing, one task, or one thought.

Under the mindfulness umbrella, there are two main techniques:

1. Focusing your attention ON something or some task.
2. Clearing your mind

Frequent feedback that I get is that the first type of mindfulness is easier.  In our culture, focusing on something is much more acceptable than focusing on nothing.  There is a judgment that focusing on something is still accomplishing something, while clearing your mind is a “waste of time”.

Focusing on SOMETHIING can take almost any form:  purposeful conversations with eye contact and no cell phones, choosing to read a book with limited distractions, painting, doing a puzzle, breathing techniques, body scan, yoga, fully throwing yourself into a sport or exercise etc.  The goal is that you control your attention as opposed to blowing through the breeze at its mercy.  When being mindful, you may notice distracting thoughts or urges; however you choose to let them pass.

Clearing your mind may indeed be more difficult; however the benefits are life changing.  What I hear most often is that it’s weird or the people don’t “know how” to do it.  Clearing you mind can happen in many forms.  Zen mindfulness suggests sitting upright and comfortable in a meditation position.  The only goal is to sit upright and still.  Thoughts will rise and fall, we don’t judge or cling to them if possible.  Sitting periods can be anywhere from 60 seconds to hours at a time.  There are of course other ways to meditate: prayer, reciting mantras, contemplating an issue, chanting, listening to classical or calming music etc.

So why should you buy into this? Because it works!  I will admit I was a skeptic at first.  I thought people would make fun of me or judge me (and perhaps they do…). I didn’t think I could “make time”…I was too busy!  I began practicing as to not be a hypocrite.  The benefits I experienced are right in line with the numerous studies out there and include: boosted mood, mental clarity, improved ability to problem solve, increased feeling of connection, increased wisdom, improved productivity, optimism, and confidence to name a few.

I urge you to give it a try.  Start with stopping several times per day to intentionally focus your attention on the task at hand.  If you are walking, walk.  Feel the knee swing through, the weight transfer from foot to foot, and stop ruminating.  If you are working, work.  Stop multi-tasking, pay attention to the ink on the paper, to your fingers on the keyboard, to the voice on the phone.  If you are watching TV, watch TV.  Stop eating, stop folding laundry, put your phone down and just watch TV.

Once you feel confident in your ability to control your attention in those ways, begin several times per day to stop and breathe.  Just stop what you are doing and take 10 deep, slow breaths.  Center yourself, and then carry on with the task at hand.

Finally, intentionally choose to block out time in your day to practice a formal sitting meditation practice.  Whether 5 minutes or 50 minutes, just take time to sit and be still.  What have you got to lose?