January 2018 – Inspiration and motivation

The Sound of Silence

January 18, 2018 Alexandria Fields

In 2005 I took a trip as a college credit across the United States in a 15 passenger van with 12 other students that I really didn’t know. The purpose of the trip was to experience different cultures and create art in ways that I could not experience in my Midwestern campus life. The most inspiring part of the trip for me, that has left a lasting imprint on my psyche was a hike down into Canyon de Chelly in Arizona. Hiking down into the basin of the canyon was the only time I have every experienced true Oneness with the world.

I recall a specific moment during the descent in which I subsequently felt minuscule and gigantic…and immediately started crying! In this one moment, I remember seeing a small flower growing out of a rock. I was so much more complex, large, and evolved than this plant AND at the same time I looked across this canyon and realized that I am a tiny speck on this planet. The hike into the Canyon is 1 1/4 miles each way and I would estimate that I had this experience about 1/3 of the way down. I hiked the rest of the way with complete awareness of the awe of nature.

This is the sound of silence.

How would you capture silence in a photograph? Is it a positive image like this one, showing a much-needed break? Or is it the opposite, revealing the lack of communication in a friendship or the dangers of not speaking out? Show us your interpretation in a new post.

Inspiration, mental health

Things I learned from my 5 year old daughter:

January 16, 2018January 11, 2018 Alexandria Fields

1. Tell other people they are beautiful if you think they are.

It never ceases to amaze me how kind-hearted and honest kids can be. The truth is, I am shy! My daughter doesn’t get her outgoing nature from me! And yet…even today as we were walking into a building, she turned to another little girl (a stranger, approximately 9 years old) and said “you’re beautiful!” to her….and the little girl smiled so big and said “thanks! you are too!”

IT WAS AMAZING! In what world would two adult women (strangers) exchange compliments like that!?!

Furthermore, she does this often…grocery stores, church, etc…If she thinks you are beautiful, she will let you know 🙂

2. Dancing is a guaranteed mood boost.

Again…shy mom…NOT SHY kid! She can dance and dance and dance…My child will hear the faintest music in a store and break out dancing to her heart’s desire! It has taught me to join in occasionally…and it ALWAYS cheers me up 🙂

3. Slow and steady wins the race.

Being the mom of a preschooler is hard. There are a LOT of comparisons. There are parenting books about which parenting books to read! At every turn it seems like your preschooler is falling behind because she doesn’t know 7 languages and can’t write her entire name in cursive… but what I am learning right along side her, is that comparisons are crap. Kids all get there in their own time and no amount of stress is going to speed them up, if anything, it will slow them down.

So think about your own life, what would be different if you were vocally kinder, danced more, and stopped comparing yourself to others?

DBT, mental health

Thoughts, Feelings, Behaviors

January 11, 2018April 7, 2021 Your Mental Restoration

Thoughts, feelings, behaviors. They are all connected and the relationship is transactional. This means that while one influences another, that change will in turn influence another factor. None of the three can exist without the other two.

This begs the question, where do we make the change in our lives if we have suffering? Do you change what thoughts you have, do you change your actions before or after the thoughts, or do you change how you feel about the situation? The answer is ANY of the three will elicit change; however, I will tell you that I believe that it is easier to BEHAVE your way into thinking differently than it is to THINK your way into behaving differently. Feelings will happen.

Think about it: You wake up to your alarm. You are very tired as you didn’t sleep well. You were up late crying, emotional about something that had happened. Is it easier to get yourself to think “gee, I am so glad to be awake early! The fact that I have a headache from crying is no problem! I look forward to seeing people today who may ask me how I’m doing!” OR is it easier to get out of bed, turn on the radio to some upbeat music, and pour a bowl of fruity pebbles? I imagine that if you try to change your thoughts, you may end up with anxiety, dread, sadness (and you may never get out of bed, at least not on time!)…whereas if you try to change your behavior, you may actually feel pride, competence and contentment.

We know it is one of the HARDEST things to do, to act differently than we may feel. Think back to the last time you were feeling depressed, I bet it would have been REALLY hard to get you to go exercise! The last time you were really anxious, I bet it would have been REALLY hard to convince you to go lay down and listen to a meditation. And the last time you were fuming mad, I bet it would have been difficult to get you to go for a walk…and yet this is what I suggest! Why would I suggest something so radically difficult? Mainly because if you do, you will see how quickly it remedies the intensity of the emotion and thoughts. I propose that if you do it a few times in a row, you will begin to trust the process…this is pretty much what all people with good habits say about how they stick to their routines!

So work on doing the opposite of your (ineffective) urge and see if the thoughts and feelings come along in a helpful way!

Uncategorized

Break the Stereotype Challenge

January 11, 2018 Alexandria Fields

Thebeatwithkey Presents – Breaking The Stereotype Challenge

The Amazing THEBEATWITHKEY has created a new challenge for the blogging community. I am honored to take a part in this. The goal of this challenge is to change the world by breaking all stereotypes. Just one person alone cannot do this because unfortunately, there are a countless amount. There are racial stereotypes, beauty stereotypes, body stereotypes, mental health stereotypes and many more. Since it would be really hard for one blogger to tackle all of them by their self, lets decide to make it a challenge. Team up with other bloggers to break these stereotypes. Link to the site that challenges you and challenge five new bloggers to join in. When responding to this challenge the rules are simple. Non- WordPress bloggers can also get in on this. The rules will be at the bottom.

My Response:

“Type A” people don’t have feelings

As a “type A” person, I am regularly offended by my co-workers and peers’ perception that I somehow don’t have feelings. I am very good at task-oriented, I am very good at tackling a to-do list with impressive efficiency! That makes me a go-to at work for things that need done quickly.

The truth is that I like to tackle tasks because it calms my anxiety…my very high anxiety! The hilarity is that people seem to think that because I use work to cope, that it means I am emotionless…I am far from it! I merely find being organized to be a way to keep myself from a mental breakdown.

What I would appreciate is if people would check in with me just as they would any other. There seems to be a belief that if someone isn’t an emotional basket case, then they MUST have it all together. The reality is that stereotypes don’t help in this realm! Some organized people are calm while others are anxious. Some disorganized people are emotionally chaotic while others are perfectly balanced. The only way to know, is to ask and allow yourself to get to know the person, not the behavior.

The 5 bloggers that I nominate is

Non-Wordpress Blogger Rules

Rule #1-

Email subscribe to my blog

Rule #2-

Follow my Instagram or Twitter (@yourmentalrestoration on Insta or @alyxberesford on Twitter)

Rule # 3-

Nominate 3 others to join the challenge

I look forward to seeing your responses

Let’s make a difference!

Inspiration, mental health

Rise Up

January 9, 2018January 9, 2018 Alexandria Fields

A new year has me reflecting on words that spark passion in me. Words that make me want to do better, be better, try harder…(yes…a word can do that for me!). Today I choose RISE.

When I think of the word rise, here’s what comes to mind:

sunrise
bread rising
Jesus rising from the dead
the phrase “rise up”
people rising up against something
a mountain peak rising against the horizon
the phrase “rise and shine”
my grandma saying “early to bed, early to rise, makes you healthy, wealthy and wise”

Every single one of these associations has a positive connection in my mind! I think of the freshness, the renewed energy, the promise that is associating with something rising, and that makes me think it is a perfect word for January! January is the rising of a new year, the sun has set on 2017 and nothing can be done to change it.

For me, as I have shared, my goal this year is mostly centered on building my business Your Mental Restoration in an effort of achieving my larger goal of helping others optimize their mental health. I see my role as being a hand that reaches down into the dust of the depression pit, into the chaos of an anxious mind and reaches through the brick walls of anger in an effort of helping even one person to have better mental health. I know that as I work on this goal, it will also propel me to naturally work on others; as we know that helping others is surefire way to help ones’ self!

I hope that you think of a way to help yourself rise against the strife that 2017 brought for so many. I hope that you create a vision that inspires you as a majestic mountaintop inspires many. I hope that you find habits that help you to rise and shine each morning much as the words my grandma shared with me have guided me.

Happy 2018! It’s not over yet so we can’t call it a loss, don’t dare have actions that make it seem like you think it already is!