Month: April 2022

red gray and yellow abstract painting
DBT, Inspiration, mental health, parenting

Sick and Tired?

Alexandria Fields

I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I am fed up with feeling exhausted and having a pity party because:

  • I don’t have time
  • I can’t find a sitter
  • I have kids with me
  • I have a to-do list
  • I have chronic pain
  • I have a full-time job

The reality is that I have to make the time, I have to accommodate having kids with me, accepting that not all things need to get done at the same time, off and on nagging pain will always be a part of my life, work will be there and work can wait. I have to create the opportunities that I’ve been wanting to have fall in my lap.

This has all come to a head this week as my gym’s kids club keeps shutting down for staffing issues. I fell into a bit of a woe is me pit because as a working mom, it isn’t fair. I have an amazing husband who tells me to go to the gym anyway and he’ll watch the kids, but as I already take time away from my kids and husband during the work week, I feel too guilty taking more time for the gym. So, I must take my own advice (see Overcoming Obstacles as A Working Parent) and make it happen. After my pity party cleared out, I was able to see clearly that I do have options available to me:

  1. My office complex has a very mediocre gym, on-site. Let’s face it, I’m not a body builder and this will be sufficient!
  2. It’s spring and I can resume walking around the block, bicycling, and playing outdoors with my kids for more physical activity.
  3. Instead of paying $90 as a copay to every doctor I see, I can spend $90 on supplements one per month to optimize how my body is working.
  4. I can eat healthier…that one doesn’t cost anything.
  5. I can resume daily journaling to improve my clarity and mental health.
  6. I can resume reading to improve my self-image.

I could keep adding to my list, but the reality is: I have choices. I can take control of this ship and steer it in the direction I’d like to go and you can too! Find an accountability buddy (I have different friends and co-workers that I write with, read with (book discussions after we read books on our own), apps that prompt healthy habits, etc…and before long, I know that the habits will be self-reinforcing because the payoff will be worth the effort.

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Big Goals, Big Anxieties, Big Rewards

Alexandria Fields

Our family is undergoing a bit of a metamorphosis lately and I am so overwhelmed! We set some BIG BIG goals for April and did not intend for them to all start picking up steam at once; and yet, here we are…chugging full speed down the track with way to many passengers!

I don’t mind working on many goals at once because when they are accomplished, the reward is so, so sweet. I got a taste of that last Thursday when all of the balls were smoothly rolling in the right directions (I’m using all of the metaphors today!) and it felt like an amazing sense of relief. We then had a (well-timed) camping trip over the weekend which allowed us to destress and relax as a family. Our kids were so excited to sleep in a tent and roast marshmallows!

My daughter and I wrote a book together and it finally got published the week before, we were ready to celebrate with smores and beautiful views! My oldest had just transfered to a new school and my youngest had just started a new speech therapist. My oldest two had just started agirl Scouts and wrapped up their winter sports. It felt like we had had a ton of appointments and tasks at each step. And yet we persisted…

The other big projects varied in size but the other massive one is that we are remodeling our master bathroom and that is QUITE and undertaking! We felt like we hit a turning point right before the camping weekend, in that the demo was done and we had all of the supplies gathered to start putting it back together upon return!

I guess you could say in our family we “go big or go home” and typically we “go big at home”. We set big goals and we reap big rewards! I am so ready for it to be done though…to enter a season of coasting…