Inspiration, mental health

Coping At Your Desk Job

If you find yourself stuck at a desk for much of your day, I’m sure you are familiar with the slump and boredom that can take over as the day goes on. You might find that you come into work in a decent mood; however, as you sit all day and your posture suffers, you might also find that your mood suffers as well! Sitting in a slumpped position restricts blood flow and communicates to your brain that you have no energy and need no energy. The mind-body connection is real and powerful!

I have two secret weapons to overcome the monotony of sitting all day, remember…as a therapist, I sit on my butt all day…I’m a pro!

Secret weapon #1: your joints

Your joints? Yes! Dictionary.com defines a joint as: the place at which two things, or separate parts of one thing, are joined or united, either rigidly or in such a way as to permit motion. I especially want you to think about the last part of the definition. Joints can keep you rigid or help you move, which do you want to be described as? If you don’t move your body, you will become physically and mentally rigid/stuck as the day goes on. I suggest you get up and move every hour; squats, yoga, stretching, walking, jumping jacks, wall push-ups, etc.

Your joints are your friend. They allow you to move and achieve your goals. You can be their friend and encourage them to move and flex. Treat your joints as if they are your best friend because they fulfill many of the same roles as a best friend does! Friends and joints both:

  • support you
  • lift you up
  • help you grow
  • enable movement
  • allow you to reach things

Why would you ignore and sabotage a friend that helps you in so many ways?!

Secret weapon #2: your five senses

Let’s go back to basics. Your five senses are: tasting, touching, seeing, smelling, and hearing. When you are emotionally dysregulated (angry, irritable, anxious, sad, uneasy, worried, depressed, etc) it can be hard to just “snap out of it” from sheer willpower alone. If it were easy, “just relax” would be great advice instead of the start of many fights. This is where your second set of secret weapons comes into play: using your five senses.

Your five senses are always with you and can mostly be used “on the sly” in “ninja-fashion” which relieves any pressure that you might look weird. My desk is covered in items that will help me regulate my emotions via my sensory system! Here’s a list of what I have within arms reach:

  • iced water
  • gum
  • scented and unscented lotion
  • affirmation cards
  • visually pleasing paintings
  • essential oil inhaler
  • essential oil roller
  • squishes
  • compression gloves
  • wrist rest
  • snacks
  • gel pens
  • hard candy
  • stone with quote on it
  • singing bowl

When I am feeling anxious, I am quick to reach for lotions, essential oil items, and ice water. When I am sad or depressed, I am likely to use invigorating scents, affirmation cards and hard candy. When I am angry, my “go to” is calming lotion scents, doodling with gel pens, and using my singing bowl. Over time, you will learn which types of items help you in different situations. It’s important to go into it with an experimental mindset, open to any possible outcomes, and engage fully in the experience.

Move and soothe. That’s my suggestion, try it for a week and let me know how it goes!

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Stop Appologizing!

Stop apologizing!

No really, stop being overly apologetic! We live in a culture that expects constant apologies, which leads to a nation of people who struggle with establishing boundaries.  Consider the examples:

At home:

               “I’m sorry to be annoying, I was just wondering if you could take out the trash”

               “Sorry I’m late! Traffic was a mess!”

               “Hey, I’m sorry to bug you…but when you finish your homework can you come help me watch your sister so I can run to the grocery?”

At work:

               “I’m sorry, I know you’re busy but I was wondering if you had time to meet with me today?”

               “I feel terrible for asking but is there any way you could call that client for me?”

               “Sorry I wasn’t here for that meeting, my kids were sick and I had to stay home from school with them.”

In public:

               (You accidentally bump into someone and they aren’t mad) “I’m so sorry! I lost my balance.”

               “I’m sorry to be a bother but do you have the time?”

               “Sorry! I didn’t know you were sitting there; I would have never invaded your space like that.”

Can you see what all of these statements have in common? Yes they all start with an apology. But also notice how common they are…AND they are also all scenarios that do not require an apology! Think of the purpose of an apology: to convey to another person the guilt that you feel as a result of an action you chose to make.   I hesitate to think that anyone should be made to feel guilty in any of the above scenarios.  Guilt is only justified if your own behavior violates your own morals or values.  Examples being if you have harmed another person or you damage another person’s property.  Missing work as a result of caring for your child, having to ask a stranger for the time, asking a person to do something that falls within their job description, and requesting the help of a family member are all appropriate actions that should not make you feel guilt. 

I offer you a suggestion, say “thank you” whenever you want to say “I’m sorry”. I realize this sounds strange; however consider the same scenarios in reverse:

At home:

               “Can you take out the trash?” (after they do) “Thank you

               “Traffic was really stressful, thanks so much for being understanding”

               “When you finish your homework I need you to come help me watch your sister so I can run to the grocery, I’d really appreciate it”

At work:

               “I was wondering if you had time to meet with me today?” (if/when they do, say you appreciate them taking time out of their day for you)

               “At some point today, I need _____ called. Thanks, you’re awesome!”

               “It means a lot to me that I was able to stay home since my kids were sick, thank you.”

In public:

               (You accidentally bump into someone and they aren’t mad) Laugh it off and strike up a conversation.

               “Do you have the time?” (When they tell you the time, thank them)

               “I didn’t know you were sitting there. Let me slide down and make room”…then introduce yourself and exchange pleasantries.

Even imagining the second set of situations, I feel a calmness and lightness in the air.  I feel we have become so apologetic and so fearful in our culture, that we lose out on opportunities to chat with strangers/neighbors/coworkers.  In the workplace, people villainize upper management and don’t share their personal lives at all which makes the job feel cold and impersonal.  And in the home, resentments build because there is a lack of teamwork.  If we can begin to share ourselves emotionally, connect with those around us and work together, I believe we could experience a much greater enjoyment in life.

THANK YOU for taking time to read this!