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Nourish Your Soul

What nourishes you? What fills your cup? Who inspires you?

  • do that
  • go there
  • see them

So often we do what nourishes others, we fill their cup and we inspire other people…..but we ignore our own needs.

Here’s what I do to fill my own cup:

  • listen to uplifting and empowering music
  • drink hot tea
  • go for walks/hikes
  • create
  • write

Here’s what I do to nourish myself:

  • take days off work
  • take hot baths
  • journal
  • look at old photos of my kids
  • visit with family

I also try to fill my social media with accounts that inspire me and unfollow any that drain me!

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Making Monday Your Favorite Day of the Week

Poor Monday, she gets a bad reputation! You don’t have to scroll long to see anti-Monday posts, see quotes like: I’ve got a case of the Mondays and now we see references on Sunday about how much people hate Smonday (on Sunday when you realize it’s about to be Monday). Why all the hate for Mondays!?

Instead of being overly negative about one simple day of the week, one seventh of your life, you could absolutely turn your thought process on it’s head and see Monday as a gift!

Monday is a fresh start, a new beginning, an opportunity to set new goals and give yourself the opportunity to look at things in a new way! I love Mondays for this reason. If the weekend is difficult, it’s over! If last week was difficult, it’s over! Give yourself permission to leave the past in the past. Give yourself permission to get excited for the week ahead!

#mondaymotivation!

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The POWER of Gratitude

If you know me, you know that I am a big fan of gratitude! In our home, we discuss gratitude every evening at dinner, around the table each person (even guests) are asked to share one thing they are grateful for that day! Initially, this was a difficult practice for our kids; however, over time they have gotten the hang of it! They are also the first ones to remind me of the practice when I forget!

The research surrounding the topic supports the benefits also! People are less reactive and negative when they are able to focus on their feelings of gratitude regularly!

Just a few of the benefits of gratitude:

  • we are able to hold onto positive feelings for longer
  • we are less pessimistic
  • we are more able to forgive
  • we have better overall moods
  • we experience better health
  • we feel more connected to others in our lives

Are you willing to build mindfulness of gratitude into your daily life? I have a blank page in my journal that says “I’m so grateful…” for each month. I challenge myself to jot down 3 things each day (big or small) that bring me feelings of gratitude, contentment, pride, joy, happiness, love, etc. As the month goes on, it brings me so much happiness to see the page fill up! Other ways to practice mindfulness of gratitude are to write letters to people about why you appreciate having them in your life (even if you never send it). You can use apps that prompt you to track things that bring you joy and cause you to feel grateful also! Give it a try, it can flip your outlook from negative to content (or positive) in just few days!

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Adapting the Five Love Languages for your real life…

In reflecting on the upcoming holiday of Valentine’s Day (whether or not you believe it’s a valid holiday), I think it’s important to dig a bit deeper and see what we can do to make the entire year as loving as February 14th tends to be? Valentine’s Day has become quite commercialized in America, I doubt anyone would argue that.  Under all the glitter and greeting cards there is actually thread of kindness and love rarely seen as prevalently as on that day.  I see this between spouses, in dating relationships, between parents and children…even in the workplace.  It’s almost as if people use the holiday as a reminder that they can and SHOULD be nice to one another periodically and I am grateful that retailers make it so much easier for people to express it.

Gary Chapman is the author of The Five Love Languages and is a relationship counselor.  The Five Love Languages is a guidebook for how to rekindle that appreciation and love you have for those in your life and express it to them in a way that will be picked up on their radar.  He has concluded that there are five “languages” that people like to receive love: words, acts, gifts, time, and touch. The problem he seeks to address is that in our relationships, we often express love in the manner we would like to receive it…without realizing that this may not be the language of the receiver. If you are a parent, child, spouse, significant other, boss, and/or employee, I would strongly urge you to read this book or it’s appropriate adaptation and challenge yourself to speak the love language of the receiver!

I encourage you (and your loved ones) to take the Five Love Languages quiz and find out how you best receive love and share your answers. This will allow you both to maximize the communication and receiving of love from others. You can take the quiz here. Give it a try…see what changes take place in your life!

Image result for 5 love languages meme

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Getting to Know Me…

I thought it would be fun to play a game with this bucket list. I’ll share what I’ve done and you can comment what you’ve done or want to do!

The Typical Bucket List

https://www.listchallenges.com/bucket-list-things

1. Skydive – Nope. NOPE. Never gonna happen.
2. Road Trip – Yep. I’ve taken a van trip across America (Ohio to San Diego, up the coast to San Francisco and back) with 12 artists.  It included a few nights on a Navajo Indian reservation, painting a mural on the side of a bridge, staying in a hostel, etc.  I also flew to Phoenix and road tripped back to Cincinnati with a friend.  I’ve also road tripped all over the midwest and southern United States.
3. Raised farm animals – do chickens and ducks count?
4. Watch Sunrise – yes. Many times. Camping, on a cruise, at home.
5. Roller coaster – little known fact: I LOVE them! I didn’t ride a single ride until age 15 because I was so scared, but when my friends drug me on one, I was hooked. I laugh hysterically while on them!
6. Snorkeling – yes. It’s amazing. I’ve done it twice in the Bahamas. Unfortunately due to my asthma, I won’t be able to snorkel again.
7. Scuba Diving – never tried.
8. Play an Instrument – No, and I regret it. I learned the fancy recorder in grade school and at the time was able to translate the skill into flute, clarinet, etc but I never actually tried.
9. Learn Another Language – yes. I was fairly fluent in both Spanish and American Sign Language; however, its a skill that you loose if you don’t use.
10. Fall in Love – yes
11. Donate to Charity – yes. Many ways and I believe it’s a very important task for ones mental health.
12. Disneyland – yes. I went to Disneyland AND Disney World when I was 24.  A friend worked there and got me in free. It was fun but not something I’d be eager to do again or with kids. It’s over-stimulating, expensive, and so…much…walking…..
13. Get Married – yes.
14. Buy a House – yes.
15. Go to a Concert – yes.  I have been to quite a few.  The top ones in my book: Less Than Jake, Miranda Lambert, Kip Moore, Incubus, Nickleback, and most recently: Kane Brown.
16. Slept on the Beach – no…but that’s going to change next month!
17. See the Northern Lights – not yet!
18. Met Your Idol – I’ve met and trained under Marsha Linehan a number of times. She isn’t my idol but I do have a lot of respect and gratitude for her work in the mental health field.
19. Climb a Mountain – not a real summit hike but I’ve been to Clingman’s Dome which is the highest point in the Great Smokey Moutain’s National Park.
20. Ski in Aspen – Nope. Not a huge fan of the cold.
21. Hopped a fence – yes
22. Storm Chasing – no. I’m a scardy cat…however, I was in my house when a tornado jumped through my yard!
23. Protest – nope
24. Go on Safari – nope
25. Visit the Giza Pyramids – nope
26. Visit the Taj Mahal – nope
27. Visit the Grand Canyon – nope
28. Ride a Horse – yes, during a girl scout outing in elementary school…I am afraid of them as a result. It bucked up on two legs and freaked me out!
29. See the Ballet – yes. It’s enjoyable but not my favorite. I prefer Broadway.
30. Go to the Opera – yes, same as ballet
31. See a Show on Broadway – yes. So many! I get season tickets with my mom. I’ve also seen Wicked and The Lion King in NYC!
32. Visit the Eiffel Tower – no
33. Visit All the Countries in the World – no!
34. Visit the Great Wall of China – no
35. Walk the Kakoda Track – no
36. Have Children of Your Own – 3 adopted girls!
37. Set a Guinness World Record – not to my knowledge…who knows!
38. Learn to Surf – no
39. Hot Air Balloon Ride -no
40. Gamble in Las Vegas – nope, not a fan of gambling
41. Swim With Dolphins – yes. a very cool experience.
42. Helicopter Ride – no
43. Shower in a Waterfall – no
44. Ride an Elephant – no
45. Visit the Seven Wonders of the World – no
46. Whale Watching – no
47. New Year’s Eve in Times Square – no, but I have been to Time’s Square. All of those people in the cold doesn’t’ sound fun to me.
48. Donate Blood – yes numerous times, and I pass out every time, so I’m not able to do that any longer.
49. See the Mona Lisa – no
50. Bungee Jumping – NO NO NO NO
51. Ride a Camel in the Desert – no
52. Fly First Class -yes! I got an upgrade once and it was great!
53. Go to Mardi Gras – no, but I’ve been to Bourbon Street in New Orleans.  Again, the thought of all those people at once sounds terrible.
54. Zip Line – nope
55. Paint Ball – nope
56. Get a Tattoo – yes
57. Ride in a Limousine – yes
58. Paraglide – no
59. Go to Oktoberfest – no
60. Swim With Sharks – no
61. Run a Marathon – not a formal one. I’ve done a few 5k races though.
62. Go on a Cruise – yes…3. Once solo. I’m not a cruise person, I get bored.
63. Get a University Degree – yes (2)
64. Publish a Book – ALMOST! I am in the process of finishing the book and then trying to get a publishing deal!
65. Grape Stomping – no
66. Backpack Europe – no
67. Hold a Tarantula – no
68. Hold a Baby Sloth, in the Amazon Rain Forest – lol, no
69. Hold a Koala – no
70. Float in the Dead Sea – no…but I have done a float loft. A cool experience!
71. Go Zorbing – not even sure what that is?
72. Cliff Dive – yes
73. Fly a Plane – yes! A small 4 passenger.
74. Walk the Sydney Harbour Bridge – no
75. Attend Coachella – no
76. Be a Part of a Flash Mob – no
77. Visit Niagara Falls – when I was 2…I don’t remember it at all of course
78. Drive Route 66 – no
79. Gondola Ride – no
80. Volunteer – yes! a lot 🙂 It’s amazing for a person’s self worth!
81. Trek the Inca Trail – no
82. Water ski – no, I’m fearful of water…
83. Jump off a Bridge – no
84. Cooking Class – no
85. Sleep in a Castle – no
86. Ancient Ruins – no
87. Ride an Ostrich – no, do people do this?
88. Parasail – yes, a great experience!
89. Host an Exchange Student – no
90. Build a Treehouse – no
91. Learn to Ballroom Dance -no
92. Sit on a Jury -not yet
93. Sleep Under the Stars – yes! a few times at my families cabin
94. Ride a Bull – no
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Desiderata

GO PLACIDLY amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

By Max Ehrmann © 1927

 

 

I was introduced to this poem today and have found it to be intensely inspiring and it is exactly what I needed to hear! Please read and enjoy, not at all my own work but I couldn’t keep it to myself!

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A non-exaustive list of ways to be happier on the daily

1. If it can be done or tidied quickly, do it

2. Drink more water

3. Text someone “hey, how are you today?”

4. Hug someone, if no one is available: hug a tree

5. Get 8-9 hours of sleep

6. Don’t watch TV

7. Go outside for 5 minutes and just observe nature, in whatever form you can (sky, birds, blades of grass, tree branches)

8. Eat breakfast, lunch and dinner

9. Wake up 20 minutes before you “have to”

10. Exercise. Even 10 squats before climbing into bed.

11. Look at funny memes/comics

12. Read something

13. Reflect on one happy memory

14. Fantasize about travel

15. Eat a piece of candy or chocolate

16. Unsubscribe to/unfollow something that annoys you

17. Subscribe to/follow something that inspires you

18. Write down 3 things that don’t suck

19. Call a relative

20. Dance

21. Choose a few items you can donate

22. Tell yourself, seriously, that you are doing a great job

23. Open your mail

24. Meditate

25. Play a board game

26. Sing along to your jams from a simpler time

What would you add??

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Nature Is My Happy Place

I went for a 2 mile hike yesterday morning and a 3 mile hike today…and I am GLOWING. I feel so clear and positive, which is such a welcome emotion. When I got back, I started researching why hiking helps the mood so much and stumbled upon a research article on the positive effects of hiking. In short, the article found that going on a hike (without your phone):

  • Improved cognitive function
  • Improved problem solving
  • Increased focus
  • Increased impulse control
  • Burned calories
  • Reduced stress and anxiety
  • Improved self-esteem

It seems like such common sense and yet many of us resist the idea of exercise of any type…but hiking can achieve the same results as medication, so why not??

Check out the article below and let me know what you think:

http://www.pnas.org/content/112/28/8567

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Loving the Adventure

When I am on vacation, I am acutely aware that I live differently.  I don’t mind driving to a restaurant, a museum, a park, etc. I don’t mind “wasting time”.  I don’t mind letting myself and my kids indulge in (less than healthy) treats.  I don’t mind weather that isn’t just right…

…we might say that I am more flexible.

So today I found myself in a dilemma: I had nothing planned.  I had no where to be.  We had no family appointments.  I was aware that we all needed an adventure though.  Post-vacation, I had imposed a bit of “family lock down” to get us back into our routine. We hadn’t gone out to dinner or on any outings in two full weeks.

I was a bit frustrated at the temperature: it was sunny and beautiful; however, there was a nip in the air that I didn’t appreciate.

Begrudgingly, I decided to confront the weather and head out.  We loaded up our bikes, snacks and hit the road to a fun park about 20 minutes away.  I was excited as I knew it was flat and my youngest is just learning to master peddling.  Upon arrival…we were greeted with road closed signs due to floods. SO DISAPPOINTING! Try explaining that to two preschoolers!

Next stop: a 15 minute drive to another fun park with relatively flat topography.  As we pull up I saw a SEA of cars in the parking lot and tons of parking signs…apparently it was an Earth Day celebration! That is typically the kind of thing I would avoid without mental prep….but I was not going to tell them we couldn’t go to this park either! So we unpacked and hit the pavement!

I am so glad that I chose to seek adventure today…in fact, I don’t think I ever really regret choosing adventure.  We all enjoyed the fresh air and sunshine.  We all enjoyed Dole Whip ice cream! We enjoyed the playground even if it was a bit over crowded.  I enjoyed each other’s company and making new memories!

 

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Break the Stereotype Challenge

Thebeatwithkey Presents – Breaking The Stereotype Challenge

The Amazing THEBEATWITHKEY has created a new challenge for the blogging community. I am honored to take a part in this. The goal of this challenge is to change the world by breaking all stereotypes. Just one person alone cannot do this because unfortunately, there are a countless amount. There are racial stereotypes, beauty stereotypes, body stereotypes, mental health stereotypes and many more. Since it would be really hard for one blogger to tackle all of them by their self, lets decide to make it a challenge. Team up with other bloggers to break these stereotypes. Link to the site that challenges you and challenge five new bloggers to join in. When responding to this challenge the rules are simple. Non- WordPress bloggers can also get in on this. The rules will be at the bottom.

My Response:

“Type A” people don’t have feelings

As a “type A” person, I am regularly offended by my co-workers and peers’ perception that I somehow don’t have feelings.  I am very good at task-oriented, I am very good at tackling a to-do list with impressive efficiency! That makes me a go-to at work for things that need done quickly.  

The truth is that I like to tackle tasks because it calms my anxiety…my very high anxiety! The hilarity is that people seem to think that because I use work to cope, that it means I am emotionless…I am far from it! I merely find being organized to be a way to keep myself from a mental breakdown.

What I would appreciate is if people would check in with me just as they would any other.  There seems to be a belief that if someone isn’t an emotional basket case, then they MUST have it all together.  The reality is that stereotypes don’t help in this realm! Some organized people are calm while others are anxious.  Some disorganized people are emotionally chaotic while others are perfectly balanced. The only way to know, is to ask and allow yourself to get to know the person, not the behavior. 

 

The 5 bloggers that I nominate is

In Transit

Reclaiming Hope

Rosie Culture

Dear Human

CrystalsandCurls

 

Non-Wordpress Blogger Rules

Rule #1-

Email subscribe to my blog

Rule #2-

Follow my Instagram or Twitter (@yourmentalrestoration on Insta or @alyxberesford on Twitter)

Rule # 3-

Nominate 3 others to join the challenge

 

 

I look forward to seeing your responses

Let’s make a difference!